Story Break
Choosing The Perfect Backpack.
Ten steps to the completeness of perfection in you pack.
Number 1: Decide to achieve perfection.
This is worthy goal.
You must do this one.
Here are some steps for you that I wrote down once.
We all know perfection is not possible, true? So why then?
Because others say so. But look close and see. Make to yourself this important query: What do they know that you do not? Nothing, probably! Or very little, mostly.
So then you can do this thing, maybe! So do this thing if you can!
Ready? Yes? OK, Go!
Only an one with a sloppiness of disposition is tempted to accept what is not perfection. Are you a looser, and sloppy? No, you hope not!
No matter what they say to you, whatever thing you want, you may have it for the taking, by golly. Or you can buy it, so do not let others prevent you you from attainment of perfection. Think on the positive.
Wear a smile! Have a happiness always in you soul, not a sadness. Show people they may trust you. They will welcomes you and assist you, always that way.
You win then, so this works.
Perfection is the goal, so do not let reality stand panting like a dog. No panting. Simply walk around that stuff. You can maybe.
Number 2: Identify your goal.
This is so easy it will be kept short. Are you ready now?
Now the thing you want is a backpack, OK? And a perfect one. A perfect backpack, so what? So you must know what this thing is, the backpack, first, right?
What is backpack then?
Learn to identify this backpack thing and how it also may be recognized as a perfect one, even from a distance. This is crucial step, often missed by others, with consequences, so do not skip this step, not even once!
To train your mind, find pictures of the backpack. Find picture of it at rest. At play. Carrying things. Whatever. And then look to them carefully, these pictures, memorizing all the while some details. Pretty soon you will get it, this idea of what is a backpack and which one has the perfection of itself.
So now, number 3 already! We come along to it so quick!
Number 3: Save up the money.
Money is useful to buy the perfect backpack unless you can steal one, which is cheaper. Usually to buy though, and for that, nothing like money! And less jail time too! Or none, probably!
You no doubt hate the jail food like me too? So then. Get lots money and eat better.
Always is money helpful to buying things. Food or beer as well. Backpackers like beer, so get used to it.
Do not scrimp this step or you will be sad. Not to be sad. More on this later, my friend.
Number 4: Make list.
A tidy, well-shaped list of words makes you to look smart, and is good for the training in memory, because you write it down and then see if you remember what, late on. So make lists often, you have the time no doubt, especially if on previous advice are you now in the jail.
Think more, quietly. Work on memory. Get early release. Not you wanting to miss backpacking season! And still you have not even a pack yet, so read on.
Know how to measure for the backpack of your size.
Backpacks become measured in the number of liters they can carry weight in, so decide this first. Which is the desired quantity of weight in liters to carry? Can be a tough one unless you become ready for it.
Keep in mind that your back will be the transporter for these liters, so measure the width of your back and then measure the length of your back from top to bottom. If you measure too much then you may carry a great weight, so careful here. Use caution sometimes.
Now these two measurements you have made, add them, and multiply by a small number to convert to the liter system. This is how much beer for preventing dehydration is adequate, and also how large your pack should be, so you do these two things together. This numbers are always the same one.
So nice!
If you need a friend to help you measure, but have no friend yet, then guess. Be generous because you deserve it, but too liberal guessing means you will not be able to carry your beer with dignity, because of weight.
On your list, make it underlined, that one, to remember. Dignity.
Number 5: Perform more research.
If you can read, a book on backpacking will help. This will make you smart. Use your list as the book mark. So, double use there, this is good practice for later with backpacking things.
If you cannot read that is OK, common among backpackers. Which many of cannot read because they are hikers not librarians so do not let this bother you but read if you can to keep up appearances. The book to read is a backpacking book. Wear a necktie while reading to appear even more smarter. Can't hurt, but not too tight, or else it may molest your brain cell.
Backpacking books are not among the sissy books so no shame in them even though often so many words are inside even these books. Get a book with pictures to help pass the time. Books with no picture are frequently become serious or boring and make you feel in pain. So pictures, always, if possible.
Also, you can ask someone, even strangers. This is what they people are for.
Try up and down the street or at a party. This is also a help to find the date. Or on the bus too. Try there some times.
Athletic types impress, so act proud and strong and then sit next to potential females on the bus. In a pinch with no females you may pick anyone. Some of them also even may have surprisingly smooth skin too. Try and see how it goes.
Number 6: Think about the other parts.
Air flow! Think this.
Air flow is an issue. Importantly, to keep your back aerated. Remember, an aerated back is a back with plentiful air flow, so they are really one and the same.
Many backpackers do not know this, which puts you on a higher level, from which it is easier to hike since you can see everything, all around, so do this.
Air flow! On the list! Yes!
Cushioning also is good. Plan cushioning generously.
Backpack cushioning is inside, so not one can tell if you having some because they cannot see it, only guess, so no need to say it out loud, while still you enjoy the cushioning in your private moments.
Projecting manliness of attitude while carrying the appropriate weight in liters for your size and description makes you do well, so have your list show this one too.
You can do this, positive thoughts always!
Now, connection accessories. Often overlooked. Do not overlook them lest you be labeled slow of thought or worse.
Instead, think of them. Connection accessories — what they are, where they might be advantageous, and what colors would be most pleasant with your manly hiking shorts.
Everything is connected is a thought, so remember it, and think then about connection accessories.
Now, pockets, to think. What they can do for you. Something? Think. Maybe so!
These pockets may be good for the retaining of tools, maps, food, clothings and other, with zippers, which highlight the attainment of professional sport level in gear, and are sure to indicate your completeness of thought.
Cleverness always.
Number 7: Find place of purchase.
So easy to contemplate, but which of many? We have the answer here. Continue the reading as follows.
So.
First is necessary a tip-top retailer, such as the Wal-Mart or the Target-Mart. Best of best, these, to be certain.
Should be several in your area. If not, then move youself to a more advanced locale where civilization is better established and then resume the searching. Look for many stationary vehicles, always a sign of nearby shopping.
Number 8: Shop.
Once inside your retail establishment of highest reputation, look.
It is backpacks you want, remember? I know, so long ago we started this write, but it was to get the perfect backpack, so doing that now finally.
They will be easy to find, the backpacks, as you now know what they are.
A trick here, from the professional shopper — find the woman of most good looks in this store and then follow it. Woman of good looks are often highly intelligent, and know how shopping the deals. To your advantage, sir.
You may also make a friend of her, or better, this women.
If she should make loud or unpleasant sounds with her mouth and look at you in the eye with fright, then try another store, quickly, you have made error, or chosen a defective female, all the same. Are plenty more store in other town, with female woman there too, and they don't know you yet. It is OK then.
Some womens not always at your level, so perseverance. Caution too. Remember the jail? To avoid! Review carefully your past, how it was and so on. Think on it. Wear disguise if need be.
Number 9: Found the backpacks?
Good. This is next step.
We almost done with.
Look through. Locate the one you decide on at home. Get that one, that backpack, unless you see a better one or cheaper price.
You never know. Certainly.
Always smart thinking is important.
If your new friend the pretty female women wants one also, then buy. Female have the attraction to funny colors betimes so get an amusing one and she will be your special friend no doubt. This is proven by facts.
If you not finding the pack you have decided, and your new friend-woman does not seem longer to-be happy, try conversation. Womens, they are said to like it, the talking.
Say to her how much of the money you saved up for this. (See step #3. Now you know the full importance of money, see?) Offer to her as appropriate.
If she says no, try another store and find more agreeable friend-women. Why waste $15?
Number 10: Attainment of perfection, final stage.
Which is your goal to this. Remember?
The best retailers give ample time to you experimenting on completed pack full of things before you buy it.
If they have a tent then set up it — portable toilet too maybe — you can try spend a night or two maybe in store. Just ask, to see what camping is, and stay then.
Remember such an idea as this: You are after the perfect backpack and want experience of authentic, so walk like a true wild man of woods, around, making the practice, with pack on you. Bounce it too.
When time to pay, leave some few useful thing you have chosen inside pack and see. What happens in life, you always need things anyway. Backpacking is such a sport as this, and has high cost. With these rich store people charging like so, they maybe let you take home a free prize or two then, OK?
Now, upon arriving to home, explore new backpack with care. It can be fun!
If your new female-women companion is now in you home with you, then whynot practice camping together until you are both tired. Hey? You are indeed lucky man, my friend, if having a new female like this is possible, and she is willing to be camping with you.
A good camping with dear friend or female always makes for the pleasantly tiredness.
This is the sign of the completeness of perfection, so do it vigorously, the camping. Always better with friends too. The end.